Guest Blogger: I'm taking over!!!!

Hello cyberspace. The humans are out tonight, so I figured I would hop on this thing and give y'all the real scoop on this "baby" I've heard so much about. I've been in denial for a while about this development, but I've realized no matter what I do or say, this "baby" thing is going to be around for the foreseeable future. I've done some research on the subject, and I've discovered that "babies" are little aliens that communicate with their eyes. I don’t have time for that. Now, I'm not going to do what everyone expects me to do and freak out. Rather I think that I can turn this into a positive for myself. If this thing intends on moving in here, I'm going to have to lay down some ground rules. So pay attention "baby" these ground rules are for you.

1) I get fed first. I can and will cry louder and longer than you.
2) I was here first. I depend on those people for a variety of things and I don't intend to let you undo the years of training I've done on them.
3) I get fed first.
4) I swear if you wake me up in the middle of the night like I've read "babies" are likely to do, you better tell the humans to feed me.
5) I get fed first.
6) I understand for the first couple of months you won't be any more interactive than a pet turtle. Once you grow out of that you better learn to pet me. Long, even strokes with the grain. Start practicing on the humans before you bring an inferior pet my way.
7) I get fed first.

If you can live by these rules, I see no reason why we can't get along.

OK internet, the humans are on their way back and it's time to get fed.